Ok, so I haven’t written for a while about my progress. There it is:
Every morning I though I’m making progress with this new day. At every break at school I was either sleepy, tired as fuck, cold or hungry. IT WAS A DISASTER. And it lasted only for 3 days… Yesterdays evening was a climax, when I nearly passed out in the evening, even though I ate as many calories as counted, and was feeling full. No idea what it happening again, but it did happened again this afternoon. I have no energy to live. I don’t even feel the need to be alive in any way. I have no joy from anything. My best and only friend is annoying all the time and all I can think about is food.
Not going to school tomorrow, decided. Even mum agreeded, so I have no reasons to feel guilty. I could go there, but I didn’t study for tomorrows test, and I can’t afford to fail it. So I’m gonna write it next week( I’m telling myself that from tomorrow I will be able to do something constructive after 4pm).
Just finished first part of Birthday cake for B. - baked a sponge cake, and during that, tasted a lot of dough, so I automatically feel full, fat, and so energized. fuck me, again.